That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i now understand why vodka
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
