Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
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Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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