It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize