just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.