You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Duck Duck Cougar?
a bad idea.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.