Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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