so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
