Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
