My room smells like vodka and shame
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize