at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
