I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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