So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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