I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize