I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I will be naked everywhere
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
