Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!