I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize