i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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