Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
