i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Even my vagina gasped.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
