Moan for me like Helen Keller
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize