if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize