Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I want her autograph on my taint
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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