everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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