he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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