Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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