the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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