Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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