Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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