Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my being single is dangerous.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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