Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?