Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
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Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
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Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?