anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it