I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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