i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize