I got chris browned last night
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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