I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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