He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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