brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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