If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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