at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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