Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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