I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
