I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
