Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize