They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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