dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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