Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Randomize
