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I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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