I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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