yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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