Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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