I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
